Guess Who's Behind Door Number Two!

                                                                                             By Jeanette Vale

Be careful what you wish for.  I declared war on my unvaried life.  No longer would I eat at the same places or drive home the same way.  I was going to shake things up!   And then my wish for ‘new and different experiences’ manifested big time.

I was in the bathroom at Burlington Coat Factory last Saturday.  I knew that my sister was in the next stall, until I looked under to see unfamiliar shoes.  I was amazed she had come and gone so quickly.  Well....actually, she was in the women's bathroom... and I was in the men's bathroom--and that was a man next to me.  I didn’t know this until I was washing my hands and I saw a urinal tucked out of sight behind the stalls.

More disturbing to me is how I processed this information.   Why would they put a urinal in…. the…. wom….. en’s…. Ugh! (It began to dawn on me) I am not...in the w-women’s …. I looked over and saw my second clue:  A real man, he had emerged from his stall.     I think I looked at the ground.  If I can’t see him, then he can’t see me, which is the logic of a two-year-old, but when you got nothing, you grab at anything.

Using mind control to manipulate strangers

 I was frozen as he finished washing and drying his hands.  I said a silent repeat-chant, “Please don’t look up, please don’t look up,”.  Finally, he turned to exit and began dialing on his phone.  My elbows had begun jutting out as I willed him to keep moving out of the propped-open door and down the hall (what was with my elbows? Was this primal behavior for protection to make myself look bigger?  Very interesting).

I kept all my brain power on him until he turned the corner.  I went into a limp-noodle run with a sharp left turn into the women’s bathroom to find my sister washing her hands--what a sight for sore eyes!  She could tell something had happened to me because I was shaking, garbling, and rubbing my bum.  No offense guys, boy germs regressed me to the third grade.

Later, after I had recovered and felt confident, I told the cashier lady all about my unvaried life being averted,” ...right here in this very store”.  She was alarmed but had a good laugh.

This story has nothing to do with Emergency Preparedness, but I learned that if you jut out your elbows while chanting, you can control others.  This power is important in an emergency.   If you can’t control the elements, you can certainly control everyone around you.

Okay, no you can’t.   But you can be a pillar of strength when an emergency hits because you took care of your sh….shhhhh.  Your stuff!  Speaking of, have you seen our potty box?  It’s one of the most brilliant ideas!  It folds away flat until you need to go!   

You can go camping and have it set up in your tent (shhhh, your own little secret) so that you don't have to stumble about in the dark to find a bathroom.  Because you know how darkness can mess with your eyes.  You might end up in the wrong bathroom.  Not that I would know anything about that. Okay, I would.  

In next week’s blog there is a fireball explosion and I discuss emotional resiliency during disasters.  What amazing resource is found in your neighborhood?  You will want to read all about it!   Step on, prep on and enjoy the cooties...er..I mean, the ride.

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